In primary school, I get awards for being the pupil of the month and the best improvement award and stuffs... In secondary school, I get award for being the top 5% in NA stream... But.. now.. all I get is no motivation to study...

It all went down when I am in sec 3.. I studied.. results not that bad.. it got worse.. after some things happened..

My resentment became permanent..

I don't enjoy school anymore..

It got worse when I am in poly..
I've no friends. Causing me to lose any motivation to stay and study... And that I hate by course.. it does not help.. it nurtures the lack of motivation in me.

Till it's deeply rooted in me.

I can't say that I have friends from working.. it's too early to say that.. I've only worked for 3days.

The place I felt loved and cared for is at home , online and outside with my close friends who went through thick and thin with me.

I felt really lonely and left out in school. Because I built a wall around me. Not allowing anyone to come near me.

I want to break down that wall.. but I don't know how to..

I only know how to whine and say all these stuffs... Because I don't know how to solve this problem of mine.

Help me.. I feel with useless and stupid and stuck..

I feel really painful. I want to get out of all of these...

But.. who am I to be kidding to?
No one reads this anyways...

Anyways.. I shall just rant here.. so next time I look back at my posts, I know what my past life is like.. if I managed to survived.. or if I am strong enough to keep surviving.

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